This new update is rather strange, and a bit complicated. I appreciate many things but there is one thing that troubles my heart... You see, I have grown to love one who once dwelled within my phone, but you have murdered him. My whale emoji is gone and has been replaced with one much lesser. How could you, update, do this... I trusted you. You were my brother, Android, as was that whale.
Whales are beautiful and magical. Put an end to this madness.